I don’t believe in happiness…I believe in fleeting moments of high adrenaline and heady excitement.
I don’t believe in equal love…I believe in one person loving the other till the point of death and receiving half a love in return – Because there is such a thing as love. I should know. It’s what been keeping my heart beating every day for years. God’s been good; very good.
I don’t believe in temporal promises…As someone wise once said, “Promises were meant to be broken”.
I don’t believe in friends…I believe in people who occasionally cause your adrenaline and excitement levels to spike.
And I know this is drifting off topic but…my biggest fear is being invisible. And sometimes I wonder…Am I that insecure that I cannot live through people seeing past me? The answer to that would be yes. I mean, think about it, I can’t even stand it when someone takes over three minutes to reply a text. It kills me (figuratively of course).
My insecurity – because I am, very much insecure – may come across as clinginess or to some; “ahoshing”. But it’s just one of those things that make me who I am. My insecurity and slight inferiority complex permeate every aspect of my life. They make me behave a certain way, think certain things and live a certain kind of life.
My insecurities make me me. So sorry if I don’t live up to the “standards” you’ve set for yourself and those around you. And sorry if I don’t fall in your category of “acceptable” people. I wish I could say I didn’t give a flying fuck what you think of me. Truth is…I do. But I guess that’s just me. If you looked you would see.
#EyesWideShut

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