EyesWideShut

Some things are best left undefined

Goldfish Go Figure — September 27, 2015

Goldfish Go Figure

Akotowaa Ntontan

Zara’s mind was off the lesson about as often as it was on it. The teacher’s voice faded in and out of intelligibility. That didn’t make for a very effective understanding of the topic being taught. Somewhere in the midst of staring out the window and wondering if there were unicorns in Australia, she decided that perhaps paying attention would be a good idea if she wanted to get a decent grade in subsequent quizzes.

Human Behaviour. What a subject to teach in school. It had only been part of the curriculum for a complete academic year; this was its second. It had been a response to issues about the ineffectiveness of the school curriculum, since the complaints were that children were not learning enough things that were relevant to humans themselves. The syllabus had been designed by professional, practicing psychologists, whom, it had been rumoured, had been hard-pressed to…

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A Letter to the Younger Self of my Best Friend —

A Letter to the Younger Self of my Best Friend

Akotowaa Ntontan

Amour,

It is 2050, and I am 32. I am writing you this letter while sitting underneath a mango tree in the Volta Region. There isn’t really anything particularly spectacular about what I am doing, but in 2014, I never would have envisioned myself doing it. I never would have envisioned any event in 2030 in the first place, seeing as how I expected to die at age 27. Well, that’s a twisted version of the truth; I’d expected to have killed myself by any means possible by this time, actually.

Do you remember that discussion? It was a comment I passed on a somewhat random day, either before or between classes, at a time when I was particularly depressed for no particular reason. Of course you don’t remember – it hasn’t happened to you yet. What I said was, and I quote:

“I don’t want to live a life…

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Insecurity —

Insecurity

I don’t believe in happiness…I believe in fleeting moments of high adrenaline and heady excitement.
I don’t believe in equal love…I believe in one person loving the other till the point of death and receiving half a love in return – Because there is such a thing as love. I should know. It’s what been keeping my heart beating every day for years. God’s been good; very good.
I don’t believe in temporal promises…As someone wise once said, “Promises were meant to be broken”.
I don’t believe in friends…I believe in people who occasionally cause your adrenaline and excitement levels to spike.
And I know this is drifting off topic but…my biggest fear is being invisible. And sometimes I wonder…Am I that insecure that I cannot live through people seeing past me? The answer to that would be yes. I mean, think about it, I can’t even stand it when someone takes over three minutes to reply a text. It kills me (figuratively of course).
My insecurity – because I am, very much insecure – may come across as clinginess or to some; “ahoshing”. But it’s just one of those things that make me who I am. My insecurity and slight inferiority complex permeate every aspect of my life. They make me behave a certain way, think certain things and live a certain kind of life.
My insecurities make me me. So sorry if I don’t live up to the “standards” you’ve set for yourself and those around you. And sorry if I don’t fall in your category of “acceptable” people. I wish I could say I didn’t give a flying fuck what you think of me. Truth is…I do. But I guess that’s just me. If you looked you would see.
#EyesWideShut

Who Are You… — September 13, 2015

Who Are You…

“Every child is an artist. The problem is staying an artist when you grow up.”

-Pablo Picasso

I am an artist. An artist isn’t just someone who draws or paints. An artist is anyone who is able to expand and stretch and explore the very limits and boundaries of their creative abilities. I may not draw or sculpt or paint but if there is one thing I can do, it’s to write.                                                                                                                             Now why write?

“I write because every single thought of mine is poetry. And poetry deserves to be written down; to run off the tongue and be lived by the masses.”

C.A.B

Poetry is beauty. Poetry is life. Poetry is art. Poetry CANNOT be faked. Poetry CANNOT be forced. Poetry is something and everything. Poetry is the little things and the big things. Poetry is the whisper of wind and the sound of traffic. Poetry is seeing – not just with your eyes- with your very heart and soul. Poetry is feeling. Poetry is exuberance and eccentricity and everything in between.

I write because the pen IS mightier than the sword. I write because just as my words heal me they also touch others; inspire them to aspire for greater things. I write because writing is art and art is facilitated by creativity and creativity is a prerequisite to innovation.

And so in the end, writing makes me an innovator; helps me add a little something to the world i’m in. Writing is the road i’m taking to reach my purpose. Writing is an integral part of who i am. What i want to ask is…who are you?